Note: This is a post of my late night thoughts. Apologies for any typos/errors.
One month from today (December 28th), I will embark on a journey that will, more likely than not, change me and change my life. I will be studying abroad in Australia for five months. The feelings I feel right now are mixed; more nervous than excited but more excited than scared. I will not change my mind and I will go, but I am worried.
I worry I will be forgotten. I worry that, while abroad, I will miss everything back home and get back too late to catch up.
I worry that the time difference will hinder my ability to stay in contact with the people I want to, and their ability to keep me updated on their lives as well.
I worry that I will get there, despise everyone but learn to love them, be homesick, then come home and have those feelings about those I originally missed.
I worry I’ll become too attached to my new life abroad and become severely depressed upon returning.
I worry about being missed. I worry about changing “too much”. I worry that I will get back and be lost. I worry that I will lose certain people I have recently come to grow very fond of, or they simply will not care to get to know the “new” me, if there is one. I worry that I’ll forget to say something I want to say or the last hug won’t be tight enough. I worry I’ll forget.
But at the same time I could not be more stoked about what these months will bring.
I’m excited about the adventures I am certain to have. I am excited about not working, just studying, and being able to take advantage of all of my free time. I am excited about the people I will meet, the new start I will have, and the opportunity to create a completely new self if I so choose. I am excited, but also worried, about what studying in a country, so different but so similar at the same time, to mine will be like. I am excited to learn at a University that is less than 45 years old but has accomplished so much. I am excited to bring what I learn home, to the people I love.
But amongst all my worry and excitement I must remember that yes, I am leaving soon, but I will also come back.
I will come back a new person, a new young woman. I will come back with experiences, stories, and knowledge that no one else has.
I will come back and I will be okay. I will be happy.
This will be just another journey on my path through life.