The Process of Transformation

Process of Applying Make Up

            The process begins when I face myself in the mirror, my face completely naked. I stare at my reflection for a few moments and question. I question who I am, what I want, where I’m going, and what I see. What do I see? I see a young woman that is incredibly scared and uncertain of the future. I see a young girl that hasn’t resolved her childhood. I see a broken child that is still destroyed by the words she heard for so long. Then I stop my thoughts, knowing that they can spin out of control quickly and easily – back to the task at hand.

The blue container with three drawers holds everything I need to transform myself. I start with the green primer that will hide the redness in the crevasses of my face and help the foundation stay put. I squirt it into my hand and rub it into my face; loving the feeling of the smooth finish it gives my skin. I follow the primer with the foundation that will hide all the imperfections on my face; the bags under my eyes, the acne scars, the emerging zits – everything that has added up over time, to be added to again by today’s routine. I take the foam pad and rub it into the foundation container, then moving it to my right cheek. I always do my right cheek first, rubbing the foundation in circles under my eye, my temple, my jawline, and my nose. I repeat the same action with the left side of my face, rubbing in the foundation so as not to miss any areas. Now to the eyes; my favorite part of the process. The eye shadow is usually green or black, because most days that’s how I feel – dark. I let the pencil or brush glide across my eyelid, leaving its residue as it passes. After completing both eyes, I take my index fingers and smudge the shadow to give the casual look – so it looks like I didn’t try too hard to look pretty. I take my eyeliner and cover the water lines of my eyes with the pitch-black color, until there is no trace of white underneath. My eyes water as I do this, giving me at least some relief, but I can’t break now – I’m too far in my process. I quickly pencil in my eyebrows to make them appear more natural. I finish with bronzer, blush, and finishing powder, one directly after the other since I’m late to wherever I need to be. Then the process is done. Before I leave the bathroom I flash a smile, a fake smile, but a smile nonetheless.

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