Fear

Fear

The fear of getting hurt it almost

Too much.

It churns in my stomach every time

Something new happens.

What if it doesn’t work.

What if you find someone better.

What if you fall out of love.

What if I’m simply not good enough.

What if, what if, what if.

These questions will never be answered until

The instance happens.

And what then?

I lose my best friend and lover.

Until I can look at you

And not feel incomplete.

Consummate Love

A love poem. Not my best, but a shot.

Consummate Love

Intimacy.

Only with you do I feel completely safe

Completely able to let go of everything and

Become vulnerable.

I lose myself in your touch, your taste, your smell –

And I feel whole.

Passion.

Heat and desire overtake my body, mind, and soul

Wanting nothing more than to stay this way forever.

In your arms nothing can touch me,

Nothing can ruin what we have.

Our connection is too strong.

Commitment.

I’ve never wanted anyone this much.

I’ve never loved anyone this much.

It’s scary, I’d give you the world if I could.

If I could make everything better, I would.

You are it.

Consummate love.

Three components to make one whole.

Three components to show you how I feel.

My heart is in this.

My soul is in this.

My entire being is in this.

I’m fully and completely yours.

The Transition

The Transition

The transition is a wave.
We see it forming
We see it coming.
Then all in one motion it hits us and we are knocked down
Pulled under, unable to breathe and unable to adjust.
Forced to absorb and take everything
That is now in front of us.
Forced to understand and accept everything
That is new to us.
The transition can make us
Or break us.
It can help us grow
Or take us down.
Forced upon our helpless souls like
Chores, homework, responsibilities.
Forced upon scared and worried minds like
Monsters, ghosts, ghouls.
The transition is not something we can escape.
Because by escaping, we lose.
We lose our integrity, credibly, and
Respect of others.
Forced into adulthood too fast, too soon.
Forced into being independent too fast, too soon.
Too fast, too soon.
Too much, too much.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger #2

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

I am a muscle that is torn every day
To rebuild into something greater

Something stronger.

I see the progress that is made after every tribulation
After every hardship, after every problem.

Someone stronger.

I feel the pain minimizing
The misery minimizing
The sadness minimizing.

Coming out stronger.

Strength in my soul grows
Developing my resilience
Into a bulletproof vest over my heart,
A force field around my entire being.

The bombs of life
The bombs thrown at me from others
The bombs thrown at myself, by myself
Will not eradicate my worth.

I have been told
What doesn’t kill you,
Makes you stronger.

I have been told
What doesn’t push you to the edge
Will only increase
Your threshold for pain
And raise that bar.

I have been told
What doesn’t make you give up completely,
Makes you feel proud for what
You have overcome.

I have been told
You grow with each put down you conquer.
You rise with each slap in the face you withstand.
You rebuild yourself.
Into a stronger self.
That can take on anything the world throws at you.

I have learned that what I have been told
Is true.
I have been
Triumphant.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

What doesn’t kill you

Makes you stronger.

Muscles tear, and rebuild,

Becoming greater than they were before.

What doesn’t push you

To the edge

Will only increase your threshold for pain

And raise that bar.

What doesn’t make you

Give up completely

Makes you feel proud for what

You have overcome.

You grow with each put down you conquer.

You rise with each slap in the face you stand tall for.

You rebuild yourself.

Into a stronger self.

That can take on anything the world throws at you. 

Monotonous Sublime

Reaching to others, not knowing what to find,
Not knowing what you want.
Sometimes being satisfied, sometimes not.
Sometimes being understood, sometimes not.
Sometimes being validated, sometimes not.
The ‘sometimes not’s being changed to
‘More often than not’s as time drags
Slowly, slowly, slowly by.
When will you rise, and shake
Your chains, and demand to be heard.
Demand to be seen for who and what you are.
And not the
Helpless
Hopeless
Child that they see you as.
Let them see who you are as you break free from
The chains that you built yourself,
Link by link.
The chains of entrapment,
Weighing you down until you simply,
Need
To
Get
Out.

O to break loose..

Oh to break loose
Like a caged animal.
Using all of the strength you can muster
Just to get out.
To be free of the vertical and horizontal bars that trap you.
Teeth ready to bite anything that
Gets in the way.
Wild eyes blazing like an inferno that
Cannot be put out.
It’s all about you, nothing else
And no one else
Crosses your mind.