As I stated in my last post, I sometimes find people exhausting. Their infinite personalities, multitude of situations and circumstances, and how they treat each other. Shockingly, even their problems, especially those that seem minuet (compared to my own), bother me. This is alarming to me, as my career choice is to help people. I want to help people… But I hate so many things about them.
I hate the way that they play games with each other. I hate the way that they chase. I hate the way that they distance. I hate the way that they give up. I hate the way they walk away. I hate the way they bully, insult, and call each other names. I hate the way they cheat, lie, and steal. I hate the way they use religion or a higher power to condemn each other. I hate the sarcasm, the guessing, the wondering, the torturous acts. But most of all, I hate the way that all of these things interact and can destroy a person and those around them. I hate the way that this can lead to depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicide. I hate the way that the words and actions of others can change a person, sometimes for the better, but usually for the worse. The harsh reality is that people are cruel. People can be sick and do horrible things without feeling any remorse for their actions. And that makes me livid.
And that’s when my sensitive and caring side comes into play… I want others to be happy. I want to help others realize many, if not all, the things stated above aren’t healthy for a satisfying and fulfilling life. But unfortunately, that is the world we live in. Things happen, trust and privacy are breeched, people hurt us, and we are damaged. But that doesn’t have to be the end, we don’t have to let our past and experiences keep us down and end our lives.
I have not had the easiest road to travel down. There have been cracks and sinkholes, thorns and weeds, snowstorms and black ice. While I faced much of it alone, I had a therapist (okay, multiple) and she helped me realize that being there for someone in need is a crucial thing. She helped me through some of the most difficult and traumatic experiences of my life and I feel my calling is to pay it forward and do the same for others. I want to help others the way I know how.
I care about people and their well-being. It’s one of my biggest weaknesses and one of my greatest strengths. I love it and I hate it. I often give more than I receive yet I still haven’t learned to pull back, although I’m working on it. This is a quality of mine that will make me a great therapist (I hope). I want to give and help others through and on their journey to achieve happiness and do what works for them, whatever that entails.
I don’t want others to experience what I have. If I can help others avoid or counsel them after traumatizing experiences and succeed even once… Then my life will be fulfilled. If I can help a person, couple, or family reach a happier, healthier, and safer point in their lives, then I have done what I believe I have been put here to do. After that, I can die happy and satisfied.