A love poem. Not my best, but a shot.
Only with you do I feel completely safe
Completely able to let go of everything and
I lose myself in your touch, your taste, your smell –
And I feel whole.
Heat and desire overtake my body, mind, and soul
Wanting nothing more than to stay this way forever.
In your arms nothing can touch me,
Nothing can ruin what we have.
Our connection is too strong.
I’ve never wanted anyone this much.
I’ve never loved anyone this much.
It’s scary, I’d give you the world if I could.
If I could make everything better, I would.
You are it.
Three components to make one whole.
Three components to show you how I feel.
My heart is in this.
My soul is in this.
My entire being is in this.
I’m fully and completely yours.
The transition is a wave.
We see it forming
We see it coming.
Then all in one motion it hits us and we are knocked down
Pulled under, unable to breathe and unable to adjust.
Forced to absorb and take everything
That is now in front of us.
Forced to understand and accept everything
That is new to us.
The transition can make us
Or break us.
It can help us grow
Or take us down.
Forced upon our helpless souls like
Chores, homework, responsibilities.
Forced upon scared and worried minds like
Monsters, ghosts, ghouls.
The transition is not something we can escape.
Because by escaping, we lose.
We lose our integrity, credibly, and
Respect of others.
Forced into adulthood too fast, too soon.
Forced into being independent too fast, too soon.
Too fast, too soon.
Too much, too much.
Oh to break loose
Like a caged animal.
Using all of the strength you can muster
Just to get out.
To be free of the vertical and horizontal bars that trap you.
Teeth ready to bite anything that
Gets in the way.
Wild eyes blazing like an inferno that
Cannot be put out.
It’s all about you, nothing else
And no one else
Crosses your mind.
The transformation of herself begins
With the questioning of what she sees.
She don’t always know
Who she is.
What she is.
Why she is.
Spinning out of control quickly. Easily
Shuddering at the view of her naked face.
The make up covers the imperfections but
Adds to what has built up over time.
Routines become tedious and boring but the
Result makes it worth the effort.
So close to breaking but it’s only
Morning. She has to wait until she’s
Alone with no one to see her at her worst.
Striving to appear as if she’s not trying but
That’s impossible to hide, as no one looks like that
Naturally she’s not happy even with the results.
Primer. Foundation. Eye shadow. Eyeliner. Mascara.
All make her what she’s not –
The simple notebook
Holds so much
So many secrets,
So many feelings.
Blue and white speckled cover
To make it appear ordinary
In the eyes of anyone else.
But I know what it holds,
The darkness, the light, the truth.
The black spine connects
All the pages, all the stories, all the secrets.
Secrets and feelings
That no one else knows
I have written
Pages upon pages of them.
Tattered, ripped edges
It was so strong for so long.
But now, it’s breaking, falling apart
My composition notebook
Holds the words I am
To say out loud.
She is the one
I tell all my secrets
All my thoughts to
She won’t tell anyone
Anything that is written.
What is in her
Stays in her.
She is like a therapist
With no response.
Someone to vent to
She won’t tell me
That I’m crazy or need
To change her is
To destroy her.