Tag Archives: college

I leave in one month.

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Note: This is a post of my late night thoughts. Apologies for any typos/errors. 

     One month from today (December 28th), I will embark on a journey that will, more likely than not, change me and change my life. I will be studying abroad in Australia for five months. The feelings I feel right now are mixed; more nervous than excited but more excited than scared. I will not change my mind and I will go, but I am worried.

     I worry I will be forgotten. I worry that, while abroad, I will miss everything back home and get back too late to catch up. 

     I worry that the time difference will hinder my ability to stay in contact with the people I want to, and their ability to keep me updated on their lives as well.

     I worry that I will get there, despise everyone but learn to love them, be homesick, then come home and have those feelings about those I originally missed. 

     I worry I’ll become too attached to my new life abroad and become severely depressed upon returning. 

     I worry about being missed. I worry about changing “too much”. I worry that I will get back and be lost. I worry that I will lose certain people I have recently come to grow very fond of, or they simply will not care to get to know the “new” me, if there is one. I worry that I’ll forget to say something I want to say or the last hug won’t be tight enough. I worry I’ll forget. 

     But at the same time I could not be more stoked about what these months will bring. 

     I’m excited about the adventures I am certain to have. I am excited about not working, just studying, and being able to take advantage of all of my free time. I am excited about the people I will meet, the new start I will have, and the opportunity to create a completely new self if I so choose. I am excited, but also worried, about what studying in a country, so different but so similar at the same time, to mine will be like. I am excited to learn at a University that is less than 45 years old but has accomplished so much. I am excited to bring what I learn home, to the people I love. 

But amongst all my worry and excitement I must remember that yes, I am leaving soon, but I will also come back. 

I will come back a new person, a new young woman. I will come back with experiences, stories, and knowledge that no one else has.

I will come back and I will be okay. I will be happy. 

This will be just another journey on my path through life.

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It’s Happening!

Well, it’s happening! I was officially accepted into James Cook University study abroad program in Townsville, Queensland Australia! I could not be more excited. But it’s an expensive trip… so any donations (click the link below) would be greatly greatly appreciated! I am so blessed to have this amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity!

http://www.gofundme.com/studyabroadjcu

🙂 Thank you so much! Share with your own followers, too please!

I have returned!

Hello everyone! I have returned, hopefully for good now. 

I got back from Tennessee late on Wednesday night and have been working my butt of yesterday and today! Luckily, I have tomorrow and Sunday off and will be doing some much needed socializing (lake, sushi, party!) and getting some errands checked off my list. 

Over my weekend, I was told that I “need to get me a gun because you never know what will happen up north” and that “I’ve had some trouble with my Rae-Anne, too. So I’ve been thinking of you sweet pea”. Oh, thank you so much! I know I’ve been a burden the past three years on everyone around me, I didn’t need your affirmation. And sorry to break it to you, but I live in the city.. in a college town. I have mace and will be alright, thanks though!

Ahh.. family. So glad to be back at my apartment and back at work. We’re getting ready for football season, and at a almost 1 million sq. foot outdoor stadium.. that is quite the ordeal. Cannot wait for those 12-hour football game shifts.

So until school starts I shall be trying to see as many of my friends as possible (before they leave and go off to their respective schools) and working as much as I can. Gotta save up for Australia! Speaking of which, I submitted my application yesterday 🙂

Wish me luck. I hope you all are well!

xx Mary

This Materialized World We Live In

We live in a world that puts such an emphasis on things, money, and having more of everything. Everything, that is, except memories.

     As much as a I hate to admit it, I have been sucked into the world of materialization. I went to a private middle/high school where many of my peers could go out, use their parents’ credit cards, and buy, buy, buy… I didn’t understand it. But soon enough, I was asking for the next Ugg boot, 7 for All Mankind jeans, etc. Pretty soon, I was using my own money just to buy new clothes, shoes, make-up, etc. I had no need for the things I was buying – I just wanted more and I just wanted to fit in. And in doing this, I missed the good times and possibly good friends I could have made.

     But now, being in college, money is tight. It always is. Now, saving is more important than spending. I am not trying to impress any of my friends because we already clicked. I’m not trying to impress and man or woman so they will fall for me. I’m not trying to impress a teacher or give them the right idea about me. In college, it’s who I am that matters. It’s not what I can afford and how much. With this attitude shift, I have made better friends and better memories. I have days and nights I can look back on and say “Wow, that was awesome”.

    So I have a challenge to those who follow or read this blog – Next time you’re out shopping with friends – don’t buy anything. Savor the moments, jokes, laughs, and smiles you share with the people you’re with. Buying something is not going to add to the experience and quality time you’re spending with your friends, just like not buying something won’t take anything away.

    Feel free to share! I’m going to do the same.

Help Me Study Abroad!

Help Me Study Abroad!

Hello everyone – I am trying to study abroad this coming spring (2014) in Australia and I am trying to raise money so I can make the most of the wonderful experience I hope to have. Most of the deadlines for scholarships have passed, therefore I am reaching out to my greater community to help if they can do so! Anything helps, thank you.

I cannot be here.

I cannot be here. I cannot come to school and act like everything is fine. I cannot deal with the questions: “Where are you going to school next year?” “What’s your number one choice?”

I cannot be honest when people ask me these questions. Where are you going to school next year? Answer: I’m not. I’m moving to California or Boston, getting a job, saving for college, and attending community college classes. I’m not going to Stanford, Harvard, or Princeton. I’m going to pay for my own college.

I’m not going to my first choice college because apparently, I’m so fucked up, that I can’t function on my own, so I have to go to school within a hundred mile radius of my house. Why? Because I’ll go crazy, do nothing, and sleep with all my professors. Really mom and dad, really? No, that’s not going to fucking happen.

I’m going to do what I need to do to be happy. I’m so unhappy at my school, surrounded by people who have problems to the extent of – “I hate my mom, she won’t let me go to a party this weekend.” or “Damn, I only got a B on that test.” And crying.

Look around and fucking realize what you have. Your parents will pay for a $60,000 a year college, mine won’t. My parents won’t let me go anywhere that I will be happy. They would rather me be miserable and close to home, going to therapy everyday.

Is something actually wrong with me and people are lying? Or am I normal and people are affirming that?

I have no idea anymore.